


Uncanny Valley

by GretchenSinister



Category: Megamind (2010), Monsters Inc. (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 12:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20546264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: So, remember that pic of Megamind and Pitch attending Monsters University I reblogged earlier?*cough**hack**wheeze**strangled voice* I think it’s a drabble.*hurk*Ah there it is.





	Uncanny Valley

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 7/19/2013.

Pitch Black isn’t surprised to see the blue-skinned kid sitting under a tree on the quad, headphones in, nose buried in a book. After all, he sees him there almost every day. Today though, he’s walking a little slower, enjoying the dark clouds of an impending thunderstom, which gives him time to wonder–what was his name again? They’d only spoken briefly at the orientation mixer, but Pitch hates forgetting people’s names. 

Ah, well. He’d ask one of his other friends later. He had so many, surely one of them would know that freshman. He walks forward again, turning his face into the damp breeze. His smile falters, though, as he realizes there was something not quite right about the kid. But he had just been reading–no he hadn’t! That was it. He had been staring straight ahead. Maybe something was wrong. Maybe he should go talk to him. No, no. There were a lot of loners on campus, not everyone was as social as he.

The kid makes the choice for him when he calls out, “How do you do it?”, his voice almost drowned out by the first rumble of thunder.

Pitch trots over the grass and sits down next to the kid. “How do I do what? By the way, I’m Pitch Black, we met once, it’s all right if you’ve forgotten me, by the way, what’s your name?”

“Pitch Black. Everyone knows you. You’ve even been given the nickname ‘Boogeyman’ already. I’ve heard they’re going to waive your scaring final.”

“Come on, man. As much as I love to have people talking about me, that’s totally false. Dean Hardscrabble would never go for that. Oh, wait, now I remember! Megamind. Weren’t you a scaring major? Or maybe you still are, I’m a total geek who goes to class early and sits in the front.”

“I…I was a scaring major. I still want to be, but I was…advised against it. I’m in door design now though, and the technology is really exciting, though I wish we could do something with a little more pizzazz.”

“Wow–what happened there? And what were you asking about earlier? Sorry, I hope I’m not annoying you, you seemed like kind of a loner–”

“I’m not!” Megamind says loudly, then claps his hands over his mouth. “I mean, I wouldn’t be if people talked to me. Can I–talk to you? I, um, I think you’d understand…”

Pitch laughs. “Sure thing! I love talking to people. But hey–you don’t have a crush on me, do you? Because I am totally going for Goldie. I’ve given up trying to figure out xir gender, but I don’t even care.”

“You don’t think Goldie’s out of your league?”

Pitch frowns. “No. Why?”

“Because…” Megamind looks down at the grass and picks a few stalks. “Because you look so human.”

There’s a pause.

“You know what?” Pitch says, “Why don’t we go back to the common room of my dorm. It’s starting to rain and you don’t want your books to get wet.”

* * *

They curl up in large, comfortable chairs, upholstery somewhat ripped from contact with other students’ scales and spikes. “All right.” Pitch leans over and narrows his eyes at Megamind. “Spill.”

Megamind looks away, fiddling with some electronics he’s pulled out of his backpack. “When I saw you in the scaring program I thought there’d be a chance for me, because…you look even more human than I do. But then…I don’t know what happened. You suddenly became a star, and I was off on the sidelines. Maybe it’s because I’m not used to talking to people. I was homeshooled, you know. I’ve gathered that I talk funny. When advising time came around, they told me that I was just…too human-looking to scare humans. And so…how do you do it? No one’s telling you to leave.”

“Okay, first thing, that was a bogus reason they gave you. Nothing scares humans more than things that are almost-human! Haven’t you heard of the uncanny valley? Zombies? Vampires? You should have told them to stuff it.

But…okay–In middle school, right? I found out that when I was born my dad demanded a paternity test, and my mom was actually okay with that! That’s fucked up, right? So I always looked this strange, and yeah, people teased me, but as a kid,” he laughs, “I looked so human I terrified everybody–adults, kids. And it was so much fun! So I knew that even if people sometimes treated me like I was toxic, I wanted to scare all my life. And now I’m here, pursuing my dream. And you know what? I can do anything anyone with wings or claws or tentacles can do.

Okay, it’s not like I’m on my own–watch this–” Pitch draws shadows around him till he looks like a silhouette of Dean Hardscrabble.

Megamind gasps. “How did you?”

Pitch lets the shadows go. “Don’t know. I’ve been able to do it all my life though.”

“Well, that explains it then,” Megamind says. “You’re still clearly a monster.”

“Megamind–it’s not just that. Look. I’m outgoing because I had to be. You were homeschooled, so you didn’t get the knocks until now. I don’t know why even the administration was being such assholes to you, but I can help you fight them if you want. Anyway…look, yeah, people can be jerks. Especially in large groups. That’s why I’m not rushing. But you want to hang out more often? With me and my friends? I think I can keep them from being rude, at least.”

“You don’t even know me!” Megamind looks alarmed.

“I’ll get to know you, that’s the point.” Pitch playfully punches him in the shoulder. “Come on. You shouldn’t be an involuntary loner. It’ll drive you nuts.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> #did I just compare writing a drabble to having a hairball? #the answer is yes
> 
> queerpyracy said: IT’S PRECIOUS


End file.
